Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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