If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
