I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
