am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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