"it" just moved
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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