if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The uberlube is also flammable
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
