I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
