Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
