my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
