I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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