Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
