Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Do vagina's smell?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
