I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
my poor anus
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
