Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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