Where is the hickey?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
