Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
