is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
