It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
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