great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So vagazzling was a success
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
