So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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