it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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