after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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