Pappa wants mamma naked
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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