it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
