Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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