I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
