I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
