why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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