I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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