she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
