its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
