I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
