she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
