So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
