Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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