Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
