He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
