Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
