Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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