I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
