Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
