he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
