Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
