god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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