Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
