Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
