I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
That accounts for only three of the penises
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
