Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
