her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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