I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
