Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
