and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
