That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
