Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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