I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize