Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
