Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
