4 words: hood of his car
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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