idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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